Part III, Chapter Eleven: Takamari Gives the Primary Reason

Part III: Zhian

"Doubts are best dispelled by exposure." --Zhi philosopher, c. 690 AE

April 24, 1112 AE
Shouchuen Keep, Shouchuen, Zhian

Even though she'd resigned herself to the fact that her little boy might never know his two older siblings, Takamari was grateful that at the very least, he had his similarly-aged cousin to play with. She doubted either Maru or Kawa would be all that willing to indulge him by sitting on the floor and playing with a toy castle. Or perhaps they would have on occasion--in any case, it hurt to think about them. They'd never replied her letters; knowing Kohashi, they might have never even received them.

Kohashi. She didn't even want to think about thinking about him.

"Takamari?"

She turned around and smiled; there was no need to worry her sister-in-law. "Sorry, Shia. Just... dozed off for a minute."

Shia raised an eyebrow, but chose not to question. "I see." She turned her head, her green eyes resting once more on the children; Shia knew a lie when she saw one, but she seemed to make a point not to press Takamari. After all those years of Kohashi, it was a welcome freedom.

But all the same, Takamari did like conversation too. "So... has Naka taken a fancy to any young man lately?" It was weak, but it was the best she could come up with just then; she supposed age must have been catching up with her, if the first thing that came to mind was so dull a topic.

Her sister-in-law shook her head. "I think she thinks Aurius is cute, but you know as well as I do that she won't go there."

"Why shouldn't she? It isn't as if either of us has had any word from Maru since we came here."

Beside her, Shia stiffened. "Taka, just because you haven't heard anything yet--"

"It's been years, Shia!" she sighed, exasperated; she expected to have to explain this to Aurius, but she expected more practicality from Shia. "If she hasn't written back by now, she never will; knowing her father, she probably hasn't even seen any of the letters."

"Exactly--and perhaps she'll write back the second she finds one."

Takamari winced; at this point, the possibility was far too much to hope for. "But even if she does find one, I'm sure she's moved on."

"From him, maybe," Shia admitted, "but not from you. You're her mother."

Her toes curling inward within her slippers, Takamari clasped her hands together and started flicking a loose bit of skin by the nail of her left thumb. "As far as she knows, I abandoned her and her brother." There. She'd said it. This was the heart of the matter, why it hurt so much to think about Maru and Kawa--this above all else.

And yet, Shia laughed. "You silly little girl! If she finds one of the letters, she'll obviously know you didn't--you just had to get away from Kohashi. The minute one of your children finds out you've written, Taka, they'll set course straight for Zhian, no matter what their father says."

"You can't really believe they'd come all the way out here against Kohashi's will." Takamari leaned against the arm of the couch and waited for Shia's argument. Why would one of them stand up to him? Kitasa knew it had taken her years to reach her breaking point--who was to say Maru or Kawa might walk away sooner?

"Of course I can," Shia insisted. "They're your children, Takamari. They're survivors; they'll do whatever it takes."

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